I know, all I do is whine in my journal entries. To damn bad.

Today was a really bad day. I think I just failed two of my tests, I have a migraine now, and my therapist made me feel like a freak. Not fun. He didn't mean to, but when he asked me if I was having suicidal thoughts because of some pictures I drew a year ago, I found it really offensive. I felt like I was going to turn into my sister. I don't want to get a fractured personality, I don't want to see things, I don't want to be broken. And I feel broken. I don't know how to change the way I think, I've always thought this way, I've always had a dark sense of humor. Is that so wrong? No, I've NEVER had thoughts of suicide, NO I never will. I don't want to be hospitalized like my sister and my brother. Why is it such a bad thing that I internalize? Where is that line between showing NO emotion and showing TOO much? WHERE IS IT?! I don't know. I've spent so long suppressing my emotions I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. I can't identify it. GOD WHAT DO I DO!?